The VMAs were this weekend
in Miami
my second home
I was sad i wasnt there
but after watching it last night
im glad i wasnt
what a waste of time
its turned into some sort of ghetto fest
between p. dummy
talking more about himself then anything
the overkill of activity during most performances
and the beef going on between fat joe
and 50 cent
it was the biggest waste of 4 hours
that ive had
in the past year
I really dont have much to say
except that music is going downhill
performers are more boring then ever
and that i hope next year
it gets better
oh well
im uninspired
sorry i dont have much more
to say

The Claw

My love life
is like the claw
you know
that damn machine
we always convince ourselves
will catch a prize
everytime I play this damn thing
I reach for the biggest prize
isnt that what we all do
dont we always swear
that this one time
well grab onto something
anything
because this time
wever finally mastered it
to no surprize
we win nothing
the friggin claw
takes over on its own
goes down
grabs nothing
so thats my love life
always confident
that this time
ill catch the prize
when it takes itself over
and brings me up emtpy
with nothing to show for it
except for one more effort tried
so they always say
dont look is when you find
i guess its time
to move onto
another game
give up on the claw
because obviously
i havent mastered the technique
to come out winning
jumping for joy
over the smallest
dumbest prize
cause thats all it ever is isnt it
its never really a great prize
but something small
we jump for joy
out of finally winning
finally getting something
after playing so long

Big Ups to M.I.A.

Everyone loves music
but I
lovvvvvvvvvve
music
it takes me through the rough times
and helps me celebrate the good times
yet lately
its gotten so boring
repetitive
cliche
childish
or bland
I dont even listen to
or enjoy
music
as much as I used to
but thank heavens
once in a while
something new
refreshing
and unique
comes along
so what do we get
M.I.A.
someone recommended her to me
some months back
i hear a track or two
and enjoyed
then this sunday
i got to see her at central park
and she blew me away
mind you
i dont understand about 90%
of what shes saying
but shes great
her voice isnt annoying
her sounds are refreshing
and her beats are unique
her style in indescribable
and shes controversial
most of her songs are about
terrorism and war
shes from Sri Lanka
but was raised in england
shes almost reggae
almost alternative
almost dance
almost bhangra
almost rock
almost pop
not many people
can get away with talking about bombs on the roof
and cops coming in the windows
with an infectious dance beat
that makes you wanna get up
and enjoy the beats
but she does
and she even has a fun song on her debut
called hombre
excume little hombre-take my number
call me- i can get skweaky so you can come
and oil me
is the chorus
ive been listening to it on repeat
and its making my day
so big ups to M.I.A
and although shes from enland
I hope well be seeing lots from her
soon.

Boring Celebs

Celebs are boring me
I starting to wonder
if I have aDD
because all day at work
no matter how much
i have to do
all I do is try to read
about celebrity scoops
I have several favorite
websites that i hit
to get my usual fix
but its getting so boring
so dry
its the same celebs
over
and
over
and
over again
enough about lindsey hohan
enough about nicole richie
enough about britney and kevin
hes a bitch too
enough about all of them
its the same 11teen year
old b*tches
doing the same crap
day after day
its not eventful
I dont care how busted briteny looks
I dont care how strung out hohan looks
and I dont care about how skinny
nicole richie is
why cant someone do something crazy
fun
unique
something to spark interest
i think ill be famous on purpose
and do insane stuff on purpose
and instead of jetting from
the paparazzi
ill hold press conferences
right after
so when they say
johnpaul
why did you do that crazy thing you did
i can say
cause im famous
i felt like it
and the news was boring me
cheeeeeese
im out

It aint crack

I love me some whitney
and I especially love me
the new show
being bobby brown
or more like
being whitneys hubby
so sad
how everytime
he tries to tell someone
who he is
the only way
they figure it out
is when he says hes married to whitney
mind you
this show is boring as hell
whenever she isnt in the scene
but can you help it
look at these pictures
how does someone
with so much money
and so much fame
manage to look like that
just watching what she wears
keeps me busy
she wears
a wig
a hat
a bandana
a sarong
and a pair of shades
all on her head
at the same time
thats why shes crazy
it aint crack
her head cant breathe
its the best friggin form
of entertainment
but its also really sad
at the same time
and in all honesty
for being loaded
they are a boring ass couple
if you had all that damn money
would you be camping in the woods
or staying at the hilton in atlanta
you would see my ass
on a cruise around the world
like Jackie O
and huge shades
any day
of the year
if I wasnt working
why swat flies
by the camp fire
when you can be sipping crystal
in the ocean
but oh well
maybe thats what crack does
makes nature
seem exciting
i tell you one more thing tho
she is scary as hell
bi polar
moody
and doesnt like people
so as much as I love her
if I saw her
I would probably
run and hide
under a desk
or behind a tree
until i saw her crack
a friendly smile
and maybe even then
i would still say hi to her
with my head bowed
like a japanese geisha

Farting Lotion

I work in an office
and sometimes I get gas
dont get grossed out
it happens to everyone
so dont even lie
funny thing is
sometimes we get big ones
where we know we gotta walk away
and sometimes we get tiny ones
that we think wont change a thing
till it kicks in
and it becomes a small bomb
or sometimes you can sit at your desk
all alone
thinking no one is around
when bam!
right after you let it out
someone comes with a question
so what do you do
you cant bust out the lysol
and say excuse me
gimme one sec
stay right there
so whats a good trick
scented lotion
always saves the day
you know
like bath and body works
its the most subtle way
to keep your hands moisturized
and keep the air fresh
so make sure to always have a jar
of a nice strong scent
its all about subtlety
no one needs to know
its your farting lotion