Tuesday, February 28, 2006

WAR


This war
between you and I
when will it ever end
neither one of us
is ever the winner
it’s a debt
yet we continue to spend
The screams
the fights
the wrongs
the rights
we never can agree
but through it all
I cant let go
and you never let go
of me
im tired
ive suffered
ive cried
ive dragged
but no resolution
ever comes
if were both
just always
mad
im not trying to win
im not trying to gain
I just want whats rightfully mine
peace
honesty
rest and love
a smile from time to time
you may think it’s a riddle
you may think it’s a game
but its serious
Im totally sane
why fight me
and never try
to understand
the heart that beats in me
I don’t see your view
you don’t see mine
and you still
wont let
me be
The guns
the knives
the bombs
the lies
they burn my spirit
to the core
Ive tried so long
to endure this fight
but I cant endure
no more

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Down Down Waiting

Im having one of those downer days
nothing crazy or particular really
but I am over work
I have a great job
and I am very thankful
so for that I must give
many many thanks
and not jinx
but I just want more
need more
need to get away
need something new
someone new
life new
state new
existence new
experience new
place new
weather new
people new
im reading a book
which isnt half bad
but I read something yesterday
that really hit home
it was a section
that talked about
how some people
need a time
or period in their life
to do nothing
be nothing
and just live for a while
by doing that
you find yourself
you regain focus
you learn what you truly value
and truly need in life
you learn your goods
your bads
your lights
your darks
and I want that right now
I need that
so bad right now
I just have a lot on my mind
im not suicidal
or depressed by any means
im just misguided
kinda randomely spinning
into and corner the spiral throws me
and I want so much
i want to regain focus
prioritize
and be happy with the direction
I am going on
and I am not at the moment
but i cant go anywhere yet
not until I save
until I meet my goals
and until I can...
so until that day
im waiting
hoping...